Trying to put into words something that you believe God has placed on your heart can be quite difficult. Especially when what you are experincing is more feeling than logical deduction. I'm going to attempt to do my best here.
I have lived in the United states for a cumulative 30 years but have never really felt like this was my home. Even though I know and understand the culture, the environment, the people, I have never really felt like this was my culture. Now some may quote CS Lewis in this case, stating that I must be meant for another, heavenly home. However this is not what I'm talking about. I am an American, but I've always felt like I was meant for something else.
I've always had a heart for the world, and over the years God has refined that desire. Being in Tokyo recently made me see that my heart isn't for going places, but for people. As much as I enjoyed seeing places of culture and history, it was all so empty. I loved the people I was with in Tokyo, but they were all Americans, people of similar cultural background. I don't feel like I got to experience Japan in Tokyo, but tourism along with fellow tourists. Don't get me wrong, I had fun, but the hilight of the entire trip was in Hamamatsu.
Hamamatsu was entirely relational. I still didn't get to experience Japan in the strictest sense... We participated in an American style wedding with many other cultures represented. We got to experience the church in Hamamatsu as we participated in that wedding, ate meals together tore down and setup together. Aside from watching my friends get married, the hilight of the trip was sitting, of all places, at a Starbucks with several people who were in or at the wedding, just talking. I traveled half way 'round the world and experienced sweet fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ. To be honest, it felt more like home than home did.
My favorite experience in Tokyo was meeting with someone I had met in Tohoku and catching up. Experiencing fellowship with a sister in Christ that I barely know. Hearing her story as an American working with YWAM in Japan greatly encouraged me and if anything, stregthened what I was already feeling about Japan. Talking with on of my fellow Americans about his heart for missions and experiences made me seriously think about my life and what exactly it was that I was praying about.
My heart for Japan has developed, not from a desire to see it's history and experience it's culture. It's come from meeting it's people, my heart breaking and seeing how much workers are needed for that harvest. In Matthew 9:37 and 38, Jesus said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.” Part of this, though, is to understand that we are all workers in whatever harvest he sends us to. My prayer for many years would be that God would simply have his way with me, to use me as he sees fit. Would God send me to the harvest in Japan? More specifically, would he send me to Hamamatsu?
While in Japan, I began to pray about relocating to Hamamatsu, one morning I read Psalm 20 and verses 4 and 5 lept off the page (or rather, off my cell phone screen): "May he grant you your heart's desire and fulfill all your plans! May we shout for joy over your salvation, and in the name of our God set up our banners!May the Lord fulfill all your petitions!" Perhaps it's time just to take the plunge?
