This song has been flowing through my head all day:

Failure doesn't phase you.
Worry doesn't win.
Lost doesn't leave you afraid to start again.
Our sin doesn't shock you.
Our shame doesn't shame you at all.
Mistakes do not move you.
Terror doesn't tame.
Death doesn't doom you to life in the grave.
Our suffering doesn't scare you.
Our secrets won't surprise you at all.
At all.

There is nothing above you.
There is nothing beyond you.
There is nothing that you can't do.
There is no one beside you.
There is no one that's like you.
There is nothing that you can't do.
Whatever will come, we'll rise above.
You fail us not, You fail us not.
No matter the war, our hope is secure.
You fail us not, You fail us not.
You fail us not.

Hatred doesn't hide you.
Evil doesn't ail.
Despair can't disguise you and tell you that you fail.
Our doubt doesn't daunt you.
Our darkness won't defeat you at all.
At all.

There is nothing above you.
There is nothing beyond you.
There is nothing that you can't do.
Whatever will come, we'll rise above.
You fail us not, You fail us not.
No matter the war, our hope is secure.
You fail us not, You fail us not.
Whatever will come, we'll rise above.
You fail us not, You fail us not.
No, You fail us not.
You fail us not.

-Fail Us Not - 1000 Generations

How long, O Lord?

How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I take counsel in my soul

and have sorrow in my heart all the day?

How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

Consider and answer me, O LORD my God;

light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,

lest my enemy say, "I have prevailed over him,"

lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

But I have trusted in your steadfast love;

my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.

I will sing to the LORD,

because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Psalm 13

This Psalm pretty much sums up how I feel at the moment. I have a ton of questions floating around in my head; questions like, "What is the purpose of my being in Fort Collins?", "Why do I never feel like I fit in?" and "Why is my heart so broken in the area of friendship?" But the biggest question I find myself asking is, "How Long do I have to face this disappointment?" I have been waiting for something for a long time now, 2 years in fact. 2 years and over the last few months, I've come to realize that the goal I was aiming for was not the goal that God intended for me. It's amazing how obvious that became and how crushing it can be, but at the same time, how kind, wonderful and comforting God is in the midst of it.

Disappointment is never fun, but one thing is certain. Romans 8:28 will always apply, that God works all things for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. I've watched God do great things in my life before. I will see him do great things again. I will leave a passage that a friend recently shared with me that has spoken so deeply to my soul:

When you did awesome things that we did not look for,

you came down, the mountains quaked at your presence.
From of old no one has heard
or perceived by the ear,
no eye has seen a God besides you,
who acts for those who wait for him.

Isaiah 64:3-4