thoughts from Faithwalkers...

For those who do not know, Faithwalkers is the annual conference put on by our movement of churches that requires all main session speakers to have been active in ministry for a minimum of 25 years. The amount of wisdom that comes from the stage during these three days is astounding.

Last year, God told me to plant my flag and commit 100% to this movement, not in a cultist sense, but in a sense that this is my family, my army, my unit and I cannot change that unless God is the one who does the changing. The results of that decision were immense growth, deeper faith and a magnified view of God.

Since I got hit by a lightning bolt last year, I expected the same thing this year. I went in with several life questions expecting big, profound answers and the answers I got were not the ones I wanted. I was so unenthusiastic about these answers that I found myself looking for different ones and when I didn't find any, I started to get really confused. After dinner, I wound up getting lost in downtown Omaha for an hour and a half and walked around in sub-freezing temps and when I got back to the conference center, I felt so sick, coughing crap up, woozy, just... sick. I sat in the middle of the row and with people pressing on all sides of me, confused, sick and whatever else, I had a panic attack which I never really got over the entire night.
That evening, we had a tie down session in our hotel room, and I just broke everything down and started to see how much I let fears drive me still. But prayers were answered, at least in plans that were laid. Plans to meet with other strong men. Plans to go deeper in my walk with Christ. Plans for accountability with my times with God. Plans that I am excited to implement now that I'm back and have already started. I prayed that night that God wouldn't heal me by the next morning, but rather that I would wake up feeling crappy and that I would slowly get better so that I was 100% by the beginning of the first session. We start worship and my chest had stopped hurting and my coughing was almost entirely voluntary. The first speaker starts and I was totally fine! All day I was fine until we got to the hotel that night and I got everything back by the time I walked in the door. I was happy, though, that the last day of the conference was not a waste.
So, what were the action steps I got out of the conference?

1. Stop "shopping". Bill Young used the illustration of the trampling death at Walmart last christmas where people were begged to please leave so that the emergency workers could get to the dying man but the shoppers responded with "We've been here for six hours already! NO!" I want to stop shopping and help the victims up. Andy Grey talked about a man who was photographing a woman during a storm, the shore gave out under her and he was about ready to go after her when he saw two men run over. Just before they got to her, though, a 20 foot tall swell came in and swept her out to sea. His one regret was that he kept taking the photos instead of putting down the camera to help her. I do not want to be that man. I was to dive into the wave of chaos in people's lives and help rescue them.

2. I need to just let God be my supply of joy, peace and strength. I feel like God really hit me pretty hard with some things to do just that.
a. how do I pray? I saw the importance of praise as far greater than previously.
b. be patient and praise while I wait.

3. I will be involved in singles ministry for a while longer. How long, I do not know, but knowing that makes it much easier to be content and not constantly look for the things that I desire. I can put my desires out of the way and focus on what God has me doing for the time being. I love the men that are on my team, and I will die for them if it means the glorification of God in their lives.

So I guess those are the main points. Now, I sit at home, hacking my lungs out, still contemplating my week. Happy new year, y'all!