On Mawwiage...

In a conversation during our leader's meeting last night, the subject of marriage came up. I don't even remember how, but I do remember my response. Back in the old days of the Rock, marriage was a seemingly forbidden topic. If I mentioned that I wanted to be married someday, it was quickly met with, "What if you're one of those men who's never supposed to get married?" Now, I understand the intent, not to allow the desire for marriage or relationship to become an idol, but something else happened. Somehow that message twisted.

Please understand, too, I'm not blaming the Rock. I'm the one who got things twisted.

One thing that was mentioned in that conversation last night was how much modern Christendom can condemn the desire for marriage as selfish and wrong. That is exactly what had happened in my case. How many men view the desire to be married as wrong and try to purge it in an attempt to gain Godliness with contentment? Guess what guys, it doesn't work. You're wired that way, and unless it really is God's intent for you to not be married, that desire is only going to get stronger.

The funny thing is that only a few hours earlier I had been conversing with a pastor about that very thing. How twisted this was in my own head/heart and how it deeply effected my whole worldview and confused me on God. God wants us to delight in him and not hope in our desires, but Psalm 37:4 says pretty plainly, "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." God doesn't want us to purge our desires, especially the ones he wired us with, he just wants us to desire and pursue him first and then allow him to be the provider and fulfiller of our other longings.

The twisting of this whole idea deeply effected how I saw myself and caused a tremendous amount of pain and sorrow in my heart. It's funny, the Buddhists believe that desire is the source of pain and to live a right life, one's life must be purged of all desire (then one will attain enlightenment). Yet, as I attempted to purge the desire, it only grew stronger and I hurt all the more (Which just goes to show why I'm not a Buddhist). God's intent is for us to enjoy having our longings fulfilled by him. This morning, he showed me that by giving me Proverbs 5:18-19:

May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer
— may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

God designed marriage not just for a place for procreating the human race, not just to be a picture of unity, but for a place of deep blessing and enjoyment. I mean, just look at the wording in this passage: blessed, rejoice, satisfy, be intoxicated. And what are these words describing? Not his relationship with God, but with his wife! The desire for marriage is not wrong, but GOOD! The desire for marriage is Godly! We think that all of our relational needs and desires must be filled by God only, but we forget that God designed us for community, fellowship and union with each other. If God designed us for those things with one another, then we can be free to enjoy our relationships, especially with our spouse. After all, it is God who said through Solomon that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord. FAVOR FROM THE LORD!

So why the heck am I writing this? It's not because I'm going to go get all engaged tomorrow, so don't think that. Really, it's because I don't believe that I'm the only one with this view of needing to purge desire to gain contentment. Submit desires to God, trust him like a child trusts its parents and start taking this seriously. I know I am.