on thoughts, emotions, and the pressence of Chirst...

I've heard it said that the Bible makes the assumption that we can control our emotions and thoughts. We are not simply set adrift in a sea of feelings that we can't control. Rather, what the Bible actually says is that we are to align our thoughts and feelings with Christ:

2Cor 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

1 Thes 5:16-18 Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

I'm thinking about all of this today because of the amount of struggle that I've been having trying to reconcile how I feel with what I learned in the last week. I've described it before as though I have this army of pawns that are trying to stand up to God and his is flicking them off the chess board one by one, so my resistance to him is rapidly depleating. However after this weekend, its as though the pawns brought in some reinforcements.

But the more I think about that analogy, the more it should fail. It should fail because it makes the assumption that I am not doing anything about this fight. It makes the assumption that I have been taken hostige by my emotions and am doing nothing. It makes the assumption that I am a victim and helpless to avail any change. In reality, I have not been taken hostige but have surrendered myself to them as opposed to the living God who is in control of all things. Rather than wait for him to change my heart, I should be actively taking control of my thoughts and feelings and making them obedient to Christ.

It is a difficult thing to look at your phobias and point them to Christ. I am terrified of being alone, yet I have no reason to be. I have a relationship with the creator of the universe and am surrounded by amazing people who love selflessly as I ought. Yet I am afraid of waking up one day when I'm fourty and realizing that I am utterly alone. Is this a valid fear? Some might say yes, but looking at my life, it is not. More than that, looking at God, it disintigrates entirely. One of my favorite old testiment passages is in the beginning of Joshua as God encourages him:

Joshua 1:6-9 Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

I wonder sometimes if Joshua struggled with discouragement before taking leadership of the people. The Israelites saw many amazing miracles, were fed mana from heaven, led by a pillar of fire by night and smoke by day, walked through the sea on dry land while walls of water stood on either side of them and stood as smoke enveloped the mountain of God in his glory, yet they still constantly turned away. Was Joshua discouraged in the midst of all of these miracles? Even after seeing amazing miracle after miracle, God still had to encourage him, and command him to be strong and courageous three times in this passage. And why should he not be terrified or discouraged? Because the LORD his God would be with him wherever he went.

Jesus said in Matthew 28:20, "...and surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." I hold the same promise in Jesus that God gave Joshua some four thousand years ago! So for me to live a life committed to honoring Christ by reaching the lost and being devoted to his people in love, I never have to worry about being alone. He himself is there, even when his people aren't.

So I am able to rejoice always. I am able to be excited and passionate when I feel crushed. Why? Because I control how I feel, and my eyes are on Christ, and just like they do in the movies, I'm going to wipe all of the pieces off of the chess board in one fell swoop.

Take that, you little pawns.