That's right, I said "revolutions", not "resolutions". Why? Because I believe that now, especially since I'm seeing my life in a somewhat clearer light, is a great time to initiate some significant life change. In otherwords, I want to revolutionize my life and the lives of those around me. So, here goes:
1. Be in the word daily. I struggle with this, and it's time just to put my foot down and do it. Daily.
2. Pray daily. See above.
3. Workout daily. Already have a good start to this one, going to the gym 3-4 times a week. Let's just bump it up to 5-6, shall we? Start integrating some weight training in with my cardio routine. My ultimate goal: 8-10 pounds a month, be down to 210 by July.
4. Be more encouraging. I tend to be biting and sarcastic at times. Why not turn that around to build people up instead of tear them down? We are, after all, called to encouraged one another daily, as long as it is called today.
5. Rejoice always instead of moaning and complaining as much as I do. In fact, I want to model my old pastor's way of life, whenever anyone would ask him how he was he would respond "rejoicing! Because the bible says to rejoice always." He truly was to, this wasn't just words.
6. Work harder, as unto the Lord and not as unto my paycheck.
I guess that's a good start, huh? Now to go off and complete numbers 1&2 for today...
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Thursday, December 31, 2009
thoughts from Faithwalkers...
For those who do not know, Faithwalkers is the annual conference put on by our movement of churches that requires all main session speakers to have been active in ministry for a minimum of 25 years. The amount of wisdom that comes from the stage during these three days is astounding.
Last year, God told me to plant my flag and commit 100% to this movement, not in a cultist sense, but in a sense that this is my family, my army, my unit and I cannot change that unless God is the one who does the changing. The results of that decision were immense growth, deeper faith and a magnified view of God.
Since I got hit by a lightning bolt last year, I expected the same thing this year. I went in with several life questions expecting big, profound answers and the answers I got were not the ones I wanted. I was so unenthusiastic about these answers that I found myself looking for different ones and when I didn't find any, I started to get really confused. After dinner, I wound up getting lost in downtown Omaha for an hour and a half and walked around in sub-freezing temps and when I got back to the conference center, I felt so sick, coughing crap up, woozy, just... sick. I sat in the middle of the row and with people pressing on all sides of me, confused, sick and whatever else, I had a panic attack which I never really got over the entire night.
That evening, we had a tie down session in our hotel room, and I just broke everything down and started to see how much I let fears drive me still. But prayers were answered, at least in plans that were laid. Plans to meet with other strong men. Plans to go deeper in my walk with Christ. Plans for accountability with my times with God. Plans that I am excited to implement now that I'm back and have already started. I prayed that night that God wouldn't heal me by the next morning, but rather that I would wake up feeling crappy and that I would slowly get better so that I was 100% by the beginning of the first session. We start worship and my chest had stopped hurting and my coughing was almost entirely voluntary. The first speaker starts and I was totally fine! All day I was fine until we got to the hotel that night and I got everything back by the time I walked in the door. I was happy, though, that the last day of the conference was not a waste.
So, what were the action steps I got out of the conference?
1. Stop "shopping". Bill Young used the illustration of the trampling death at Walmart last christmas where people were begged to please leave so that the emergency workers could get to the dying man but the shoppers responded with "We've been here for six hours already! NO!" I want to stop shopping and help the victims up. Andy Grey talked about a man who was photographing a woman during a storm, the shore gave out under her and he was about ready to go after her when he saw two men run over. Just before they got to her, though, a 20 foot tall swell came in and swept her out to sea. His one regret was that he kept taking the photos instead of putting down the camera to help her. I do not want to be that man. I was to dive into the wave of chaos in people's lives and help rescue them.
2. I need to just let God be my supply of joy, peace and strength. I feel like God really hit me pretty hard with some things to do just that.
a. how do I pray? I saw the importance of praise as far greater than previously.
b. be patient and praise while I wait.
3. I will be involved in singles ministry for a while longer. How long, I do not know, but knowing that makes it much easier to be content and not constantly look for the things that I desire. I can put my desires out of the way and focus on what God has me doing for the time being. I love the men that are on my team, and I will die for them if it means the glorification of God in their lives.
So I guess those are the main points. Now, I sit at home, hacking my lungs out, still contemplating my week. Happy new year, y'all!
Last year, God told me to plant my flag and commit 100% to this movement, not in a cultist sense, but in a sense that this is my family, my army, my unit and I cannot change that unless God is the one who does the changing. The results of that decision were immense growth, deeper faith and a magnified view of God.
Since I got hit by a lightning bolt last year, I expected the same thing this year. I went in with several life questions expecting big, profound answers and the answers I got were not the ones I wanted. I was so unenthusiastic about these answers that I found myself looking for different ones and when I didn't find any, I started to get really confused. After dinner, I wound up getting lost in downtown Omaha for an hour and a half and walked around in sub-freezing temps and when I got back to the conference center, I felt so sick, coughing crap up, woozy, just... sick. I sat in the middle of the row and with people pressing on all sides of me, confused, sick and whatever else, I had a panic attack which I never really got over the entire night.
That evening, we had a tie down session in our hotel room, and I just broke everything down and started to see how much I let fears drive me still. But prayers were answered, at least in plans that were laid. Plans to meet with other strong men. Plans to go deeper in my walk with Christ. Plans for accountability with my times with God. Plans that I am excited to implement now that I'm back and have already started. I prayed that night that God wouldn't heal me by the next morning, but rather that I would wake up feeling crappy and that I would slowly get better so that I was 100% by the beginning of the first session. We start worship and my chest had stopped hurting and my coughing was almost entirely voluntary. The first speaker starts and I was totally fine! All day I was fine until we got to the hotel that night and I got everything back by the time I walked in the door. I was happy, though, that the last day of the conference was not a waste.
So, what were the action steps I got out of the conference?
1. Stop "shopping". Bill Young used the illustration of the trampling death at Walmart last christmas where people were begged to please leave so that the emergency workers could get to the dying man but the shoppers responded with "We've been here for six hours already! NO!" I want to stop shopping and help the victims up. Andy Grey talked about a man who was photographing a woman during a storm, the shore gave out under her and he was about ready to go after her when he saw two men run over. Just before they got to her, though, a 20 foot tall swell came in and swept her out to sea. His one regret was that he kept taking the photos instead of putting down the camera to help her. I do not want to be that man. I was to dive into the wave of chaos in people's lives and help rescue them.
2. I need to just let God be my supply of joy, peace and strength. I feel like God really hit me pretty hard with some things to do just that.
a. how do I pray? I saw the importance of praise as far greater than previously.
b. be patient and praise while I wait.
3. I will be involved in singles ministry for a while longer. How long, I do not know, but knowing that makes it much easier to be content and not constantly look for the things that I desire. I can put my desires out of the way and focus on what God has me doing for the time being. I love the men that are on my team, and I will die for them if it means the glorification of God in their lives.
So I guess those are the main points. Now, I sit at home, hacking my lungs out, still contemplating my week. Happy new year, y'all!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
"I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve."
- Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto from the film "Tora, Tora, Tora".
I have been taking much stock of my life lately, and I've come to realize that in many ways, my soul has been lulled to sleep by the mediocrity and banality of the typical american life. That I, along with many around me, have given themselves over to the American dream, the persuit of riches, happiness and comfort, never really giving much consideration to the glories of God, and if they did give thought to it, it was in confusion on how to best bring those glories to light. My soul has been sleeping for some time now, hibernating if you will, and a restlessness has begun in my heart, a stirring to action.
Imagine if the American church suddenly woke up. Imagine if all of the pushing to be the nice, comfortable, politically correct church suddenly was replaced with a passion to see God glorified at all costs. Imagine if each individual in America dropped to their knees in repentance for their laziness, got up, took up their crosses and put down the remote? Imagine how this country would change and the gospel would go out. I, for one, am excited for this to begin in my own life.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thankyou...
Today is thanksgiving day, and it seems only apt to make a list of things that I am thankful to God for, so here goes!
1. Thank you for the cross, that I am forgiven, made alive, new, clean and am adopted as your son.
2. Thank you, Jesus for the fact that you were fully human and that you know all of my struggles first hand and now sit at the right hand of the Father, interceding on my behalf.
3. Thank you for blessing me with my family and parents that are a huge part of who I am today.
4. Thank you for blessing me with an amazing church that never really leaves anything for a dull moment.
5. Thank you for my friends who I get to adventure with.
6. Thank you for my job, which I absolutely LOVE!
7. Thank you for awesome co-workers who I actually enjoy spending a majority of my time with each week.
8. Thank you for never leaving me nor forsaking me.
9. Thank you for the fact that I have always had a roof over my head, never gone hungry and that you continually provide for me, even when I'm stupid.
10. Thank you for accepting me as I am, warts and all.
11. Thank you for thing like music, art, writing, and the many creative things that I love, and choose to express myself with.
12. Thank you the use of my legs and that I can run, jump and still play ultimate.
13. Thank you that I have the privilage of living in the most beautiful state in the country. I love my mountains and wake up every morning with the best view of them.
14. Thank you for using me in people's lives.
15. Thank you for the manliness and tastiness of steak.
16. Thank you that I am not alone.
17. Thank you for your word, which guides me, gives me joy and refreshes my mind.
18. Thank you for awesome roommates.
19. Thank you for FAITHWALKERS!! (can't wait!)
20. Thank you for the trials that I've gone through that have taught me incredible reliance on God, something that he has to remind me of daily, but still he is faithful to remind me.
Philippians 4:6 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Psalm 95:2 - Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song.
1. Thank you for the cross, that I am forgiven, made alive, new, clean and am adopted as your son.
2. Thank you, Jesus for the fact that you were fully human and that you know all of my struggles first hand and now sit at the right hand of the Father, interceding on my behalf.
3. Thank you for blessing me with my family and parents that are a huge part of who I am today.
4. Thank you for blessing me with an amazing church that never really leaves anything for a dull moment.
5. Thank you for my friends who I get to adventure with.
6. Thank you for my job, which I absolutely LOVE!
7. Thank you for awesome co-workers who I actually enjoy spending a majority of my time with each week.
8. Thank you for never leaving me nor forsaking me.
9. Thank you for the fact that I have always had a roof over my head, never gone hungry and that you continually provide for me, even when I'm stupid.
10. Thank you for accepting me as I am, warts and all.
11. Thank you for thing like music, art, writing, and the many creative things that I love, and choose to express myself with.
12. Thank you the use of my legs and that I can run, jump and still play ultimate.
13. Thank you that I have the privilage of living in the most beautiful state in the country. I love my mountains and wake up every morning with the best view of them.
14. Thank you for using me in people's lives.
15. Thank you for the manliness and tastiness of steak.
16. Thank you that I am not alone.
17. Thank you for your word, which guides me, gives me joy and refreshes my mind.
18. Thank you for awesome roommates.
19. Thank you for FAITHWALKERS!! (can't wait!)
20. Thank you for the trials that I've gone through that have taught me incredible reliance on God, something that he has to remind me of daily, but still he is faithful to remind me.
Philippians 4:6 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Psalm 95:2 - Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
praise
I am becoming increasingly convinced that it is impossible to love God with all of your heart, mind soul and strength without spending a significantly greater amount of time in praise than in asking requests of him. If we focus on the character, the majesty, the might, power and infinance of God, how can any trial stand up to him? Perhaps this is where we are to be joyful when we experience trials. How else could we?
My life has been a spiritual and emotional roller-coaster for the last few weeks. I have had incredible answers to prayers as well as rather deep disappointments. But yesterday, I chose to praise God despite those disappointments. Not to focus on his blessing, but to focus on him, to thank him for his great enduring love and mercy. Tonight, through tears, I praised him for giving me so much more than I deserve.
I do not deserve my relationship with him, my roommates, my church, my job, my friends or family. I do not deserve love or appreciation, grace or mercy. Fortunately, grace, being unmerited favor, is by definition not what I deserve, yet according to Ephesians 1, he lavishes it on us. I thanked him for these things and then went on to thank him for the lessons that he has taught me through trial. I thanked him for those disappointments and then went on to ask him to make me content in whatever circumstances I am in, just please give me more of himself.
Everyone loves Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Perhaps they love this verse because it is true. I always had a problem claiming this verse because it was written to the entire nation of Israel, but seeing as how I'm grafted into that tree, I think it's still applicable. God, plant me where you want me, use me as you see fit. Make me a man who is after your heart and not my own. You've broken me, shattered me, and destroyed me. I leave it to you to choose how to put my pieces back together, as you are the only one who should. Make me the man you want to carry out your will and make your will the core of my desires.
My life has been a spiritual and emotional roller-coaster for the last few weeks. I have had incredible answers to prayers as well as rather deep disappointments. But yesterday, I chose to praise God despite those disappointments. Not to focus on his blessing, but to focus on him, to thank him for his great enduring love and mercy. Tonight, through tears, I praised him for giving me so much more than I deserve.
I do not deserve my relationship with him, my roommates, my church, my job, my friends or family. I do not deserve love or appreciation, grace or mercy. Fortunately, grace, being unmerited favor, is by definition not what I deserve, yet according to Ephesians 1, he lavishes it on us. I thanked him for these things and then went on to thank him for the lessons that he has taught me through trial. I thanked him for those disappointments and then went on to ask him to make me content in whatever circumstances I am in, just please give me more of himself.
Everyone loves Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Perhaps they love this verse because it is true. I always had a problem claiming this verse because it was written to the entire nation of Israel, but seeing as how I'm grafted into that tree, I think it's still applicable. God, plant me where you want me, use me as you see fit. Make me a man who is after your heart and not my own. You've broken me, shattered me, and destroyed me. I leave it to you to choose how to put my pieces back together, as you are the only one who should. Make me the man you want to carry out your will and make your will the core of my desires.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Caution: I am weird I fast because I'm hungry I run because I am thirsty I die every day because I want to live I lead because I follow I give everything away to become rich I am weak and broken so that I will be strong I see more when my eyes are closed I'm in love with someone I haven't seen I love the unlovely I am honored when people mock me I embrace these foolish things to become wise I will walk whole heartedly out on any limb He requires, because even if He lets it break, He can teach me to fly.
-Lygon Stevens
-Lygon Stevens
Recently, I was introduced to the journals of a young woman named Lygon Stevens. She was a daughter of God, madly in love with Christ. She died in an avalanche in January of 2008 and her opened journals revealed a woman who loved God deeper than anything else, and whose words challenge me now in how I choose to live.
It is so easy to go with the flow of this world. It is so easy to choose to be comfortable, to try to be accepted, to try to not be weird. Yet that is not what we are called to. We are called to a life that is different, that stands out and that is spent in utter denial of self for the sake of honoring Christ. As Paul says in Philippians 3:8, "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ"
Do I let myself be weird in the eyes of the world? Do I let myself be so madly in love with Christ that I would obey him in a heart beat? Do I let my life speak dramatically of his goodness? I think it's time to step up my game here. Much of the time I'm focused on what I don't have, the sacrifices that I must make or I try to find life in the desires of my heart rather than the love of Christ. I want to be so madly in love with God that I honestly would consider all things rubbish in comparison to knowing Christ.
Recently, God has been revealing the extent of my sin and it is very ugly. It is selfishness and hypocrisy at its worst. I am tired of being a hypocrite, saying I love Christ and then turning to the world for hope. I am done with it. I am reminded of the lyrics of one of my favorite worship songs:
Lord you have my heart
And I will search for yours
Jesus take my life and lead me on.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
-Proverbs 3:5,6
and he will make your paths straight.
-Proverbs 3:5,6
A friend recently shared this verse with me on a previous post (via facebook, not actually on this blog). I have been thinking on this verse for a few days now, and I've come to the conclusion that I constantly make decisions based on my own understanding of the universe, yet I am to obey one who created it. I get stressed out and try to do things based solely on my own perspective, yet I have a book full of letters from him who is in control of the whole thing.
Lord give me the proper perspective on reality.
Lord give me the proper perspective on reality.
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