praise

I am becoming increasingly convinced that it is impossible to love God with all of your heart, mind soul and strength without spending a significantly greater amount of time in praise than in asking requests of him. If we focus on the character, the majesty, the might, power and infinance of God, how can any trial stand up to him? Perhaps this is where we are to be joyful when we experience trials. How else could we?

My life has been a spiritual and emotional roller-coaster for the last few weeks. I have had incredible answers to prayers as well as rather deep disappointments. But yesterday, I chose to praise God despite those disappointments. Not to focus on his blessing, but to focus on him, to thank him for his great enduring love and mercy. Tonight, through tears, I praised him for giving me so much more than I deserve.

I do not deserve my relationship with him, my roommates, my church, my job, my friends or family. I do not deserve love or appreciation, grace or mercy. Fortunately, grace, being unmerited favor, is by definition not what I deserve, yet according to Ephesians 1, he lavishes it on us. I thanked him for these things and then went on to thank him for the lessons that he has taught me through trial. I thanked him for those disappointments and then went on to ask him to make me content in whatever circumstances I am in, just please give me more of himself.

Everyone loves Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Perhaps they love this verse because it is true. I always had a problem claiming this verse because it was written to the entire nation of Israel, but seeing as how I'm grafted into that tree, I think it's still applicable. God, plant me where you want me, use me as you see fit. Make me a man who is after your heart and not my own. You've broken me, shattered me, and destroyed me. I leave it to you to choose how to put my pieces back together, as you are the only one who should. Make me the man you want to carry out your will and make your will the core of my desires.