Observational mishaps

Caution: I am weird

I fast because I'm hungry I run because I am thirsty I die every day because I want to live I lead because I follow I give everything away to become rich I am weak and broken so that I will be strong I see more when my eyes are closed I'm in love with someone I haven't seen I love the unlovely I am honored when people mock me I embrace these foolish things to become wise I will walk whole heartedly out on any limb He requires, because even if He lets it break, He can teach me to fly.
-Lygon Stevens

Recently, I was introduced to the journals of a young woman named Lygon Stevens. She was a daughter of God, madly in love with Christ. She died in an avalanche in January of 2008 and her opened journals revealed a woman who loved God deeper than anything else, and whose words challenge me now in how I choose to live.

It is so easy to go with the flow of this world. It is so easy to choose to be comfortable, to try to be accepted, to try to not be weird. Yet that is not what we are called to. We are called to a life that is different, that stands out and that is spent in utter denial of self for the sake of honoring Christ. As Paul says in Philippians 3:8, "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ"

Do I let myself be weird in the eyes of the world? Do I let myself be so madly in love with Christ that I would obey him in a heart beat? Do I let my life speak dramatically of his goodness? I think it's time to step up my game here. Much of the time I'm focused on what I don't have, the sacrifices that I must make or I try to find life in the desires of my heart rather than the love of Christ. I want to be so madly in love with God that I honestly would consider all things rubbish in comparison to knowing Christ.

Recently, God has been revealing the extent of my sin and it is very ugly. It is selfishness and hypocrisy at its worst. I am tired of being a hypocrite, saying I love Christ and then turning to the world for hope. I am done with it. I am reminded of the lyrics of one of my favorite worship songs:

Lord you have my heart
And I will search for yours
Jesus take my life and lead me on.