I've been thinking about my experiences in Louisiana a lot lately and how they may translate to this trip to Japan. In October of 2005, I was part of a group of fourty some people who spent sixty six hours on a bus to work for fourty four hours in Slidel, LA. In those fourty four hours, we tore down destroyed walls, hauled our carpet and served people in the food line. It was hard work, long hours and one of the greatest experiences of my life, yet I hardly interacted with anyone outside of our group. Why was it so amazing? Because God ripped out my heart, shattered it and rebuilt it all in a matter of a few minutes.
Arriving at the compound was erie. When we rolled in at 2am, there was a mist blowing through the hot, humid air, illuminated by large flood lights on the supply tents. Evidences of devestation were every where: trash strewn about, pieces of building, tattered clothes and muddied broken toys. It looked like a bomb had gone off and all of the fallout had landed. Add to that image the troop carriers and National Guard vehicles parked by the flood lights, it felt like I had just stepped into the filming of a war movie.
We found places to sleep and settled in, happy to be able to stretch
out on the church pews that would become our beds for the next few days. The next morning, we awoke to the sounds of two hundred volunteers getting out of bed and trying to quietly shuffle to start the day. After breakfast, we were sent out to different jobs, many to the community, but a handful of us "big guys" to mud-out the church's classrooms in the back. I greatly enjoyed being able to destroy things with good friends but was also frustrated that I had to stay on compound instead of going out into the community where the real adventure was.
You see, this was my first mission trip, and I was more concerned about having a cool experience and adventure than I was about touching people with the Gospel of Jesus. It wasn't until the next day that God affected that.
I was supposed to go out on a chain saw crew the next morning, but slept through my alarm and no one could find me. Instead, we finished up in the class rooms and then worked the food distribution line where I got to hand out bags of ice and bottled water to thousands of people. I watched as cars came up and would tell us that they had three or four families staying with them. I was again frustrated because it was hot and I was stuck in the sun handing out water that I myself really wanted to drink.
The area was already on alert because of the approach of Hurricane Rita and out of nowhere, the outer rain bands hit us. Everyone ran for cover and I stood and watched as the line that was already backed up for over half a mile was now standing still. These people who had lost everything just needed supplies and now they had to wait longer. I couldn't take it and my heart broke. I ran back out in the rain and began handing out ice and water in the pouring rain and powerful winds because there was no reason to hold back. I no longer cared about anything else than doing what I should have been doing anyway: loving people for the sake of Jesus.
In that trip, I never got to share the Gospel once. Yet I gained an understanding of the purpose of why we are to love the poor and downtrodden, the hurting and broken hearted. We are to love them because they are no different than us and Jesus loves them just as much as me.
My return to Fort Collins was so hard. I remember seeing a man jogging on the street at 5am and being extremely angry at him because his life was totally normal and hadn't been effected by the things I had just seen. It took me a week to get back to normal, but a few things have stuck with me ever since then:
1. I have so much and am in such a good place in life, so much that I have taken for granted. I am extremely thankful for that which I have and the fact that, here in America, I was raised safely, never being in want or need and have had tremendous opportunities. Since going to Louisiana, though I have stuff, I can't be dominated by it. It's rare that I ever have anything that I wouldn't sell or give away. I just don't care about any of it. So many people have nothing and are perfectly content. Others loose everything and are devastated. Stuff is stuff and though I am thankful for the relative affluence that I live in, I would leave it all to go make a difference.
2. Jesus loves people way more than I do, and he has helped me grow in love for them. My heart switched from the adventure to being deeply broken for those who have lost so much. Now, when a tragedy happens, my immediate reaction is to ask how I can get there and bring hope? I can do good wherever I want, but if I'm not bringing Jesus then my good deeds are pointless. I am not about going to do something unique or have a cool story. Ever since running out into the torrential rain, I'm about loving the people who are hurting and bringing them the hope that I have.
3. The best way to build unity is to serve together. I still have people in my life that I got to serve with in Slidel that I still have a strong affection for. These people will forever be in my life as the men and women I served in the trenches with.
So how does this translate to Japan? First of all, it's not about the adventure. God has placed this on my heart and I cannot wait to get there and meet people, start conversations, hug people, love on them and let them see us as the body of Christ! Secondly, I am excited for the team that we are sending. We are going to be a tight knit group, I can feel it. Thirdly, my heart is already broken, I'm prepared for it to be more so once I see the devastation and meet the displaced.
Please continue to pray for us. This trip will be good, but hard at the same time. Thanks!
