Last week, I was challenged by a very close friend of mine, one Andrea Skerry, to love others more than I love myself. At first, I was a bit shocked. "I'm good at that already," I thought. But then the reality of it hit me and I saw that, not only was I not very good at loving others, I sucked horribly at it. Since then, I've made it a point to be more outward focused, to have a greater, stronger love for others, to put their needs before my own, to truly love as unconditionally as I, a fallen human being can love and something amazing happened. For the first time... ever, I felt loved myself. I felt like I fit. That's such a rarity for me. I felt like I was not only doing what I was designed to do, but I was living life as God wanted it. I truly was where I belonged.
Today, I accidentally pulled up google earth on my phone. The last time I played with it, I was looking at Ishinomaki, Japan, at the places where we went. So, the earth spun to Japan and landed on the coastline along the small seaport city. But the pictures had all been updated since the last time I saw that view. Now, instead of full neighborhoods, there were large patches of dirt and debris with the occasional standing house. I even found the shrine outlook that we visited on our last day there and could connect what I saw then with what I was looking at now. My heart broke into a million pieces.
I spent the better half of the next hour looking at the Tohoku area on Google Maps and my heart just broke more and more. Not long after that, I received an email about a potential year long trip and something stirred inside me. "I have to go back," I kept thinking to myself. My brain the suddenly switched to what I can only guess was the Holy Spirit speaking of the city of Ninaveh in Jonah 4, only with the nation of Japan in it's place, "And should I not have concern for the great [nation] of [Japan], in which there are more than a hundred and twenty [million] people who cannot tell their right hand from their left...?”
I can't say that the desire to go back to Japan ever really left me, but I did dismiss it for a while. Now, seeing this, timed with the possibility of a return next summer has stirred me once again. As I'm learning what it is to "remove myself from the equation" and love others greater than myself, as I'm learning to give of myself for the sake of another, to lay down my life, my rights, my freedoms and my desires to benefit someone else and experience God's love and satisfaction and true life in the process, I can't help but wonder just how much God is preparing me for use in something like this. Now, I have no idea what he's really doing, I could very well let my emotions simmer down and tomorrow be all in here in FoCo, but somehow, I doubt it. My boldness with the truth is increasing and more and more, I want to make Jesus famous and myself secondary.
Are you still praying for the people of Japan who are still recovering from the devestating tsunami that hit more than six months ago? Are they still on your minds at all? Do you pray for their salvation and their recovery? I haven't been nearly as much as I used to and that changes today.
I will keep praying about this. I would challenge you, reader, to pray about going on a church plant yourself. Ask God to give you a heart for the Great Commission. Will you make him famous? And if you have that heart, are you making him famous here, in FoCo?
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